Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Bennett: The First 10 Days
Bennett Clark Harris
January 6, 2013 | 6:39 am
6 lbs 14 oz | 20 inches

Wow. I cannot believe my little man is already 10 days old. I feel like each day before he was born took so long, and now time is flying by. I am planning on sharing my birth story as soon as I find time to write it out ;) It's a little different with my new full time job caring for him! 

Being a mom has already completely changed me. Mostly in the selfish department.. there just isn't time to be selfish anymore. He needs me 24/7. He can't take care of himself at all, so I have to be there for him. I'm learning to eat when he's asleep otherwise I don't end up eating lunch until 4pm when I feel ready to pass out. 

It's a cool feeling though, being able to provide for his every need. My body has 100% nurtured him from conception into the world and is continuing to produce food and sustenance for him each day. It's truly amazing how God designed this process! 

Mr Bennett has already changed since the day he was born. The first 3 or 4 days he snorted constantly, which made me giggle all day and night. I loved his little piggy noises! Now I get one or two snorts a day. I hope he keeps doing it though, its so cute! He was skin and bones when he came out, nothing to pinch on his legs, arms, or cheeks. I could feel every rib when I held him. He is starting to fill out and yesterday I even saw the beginnings of a roll on his thigh. I'm so thankful he is getting nutrition from all that eating he's been doing. 

He reacts to sounds and touch; if he hears someone enter the room his eyes will wander that way in curiosity, and when he hears mine or Zach's voice he will look right at us. It's truly amazing. If I touch the right side of his face he will scrunch up his nose and wink that eye, same with the left side. It's adorable.

I'm already completely in love with him. People say it's a different kind of love but I didn't understand. From the day he was born I can't stop staring at him. Every part of his face, hands, feet, everything.. is just perfect to me. I love every silly face he makes. I hurt when he cries, I want to give him everything he ever needs and make it so he never feels pain or sadness. I can't even describe how my heart feels when he smiles, even if I know he doesn't know he's smiling. This tiny tiny human has already stolen my heart. I can't wait to see how much more I fall in love with him as he continues to grow.

We were lucky enough that all four grandparents could be there the day he was born. Zach's parents stayed for four days and mine for a week, it was amazing to have their support, love, and help! My grandpa drove up for a day to meet Bennett. That was so special to me.

Bennett-isms I want to remember:

  • his tiny snorts when he is hungry
  • the way he sucks in his bottom lip
  • his waking up face where he stretches out his neck like a turtle, raises his eyebrows, and purses his lips
  • his little singing noises he makes when he eats

Here's our first week and a half through photos...I think I've taken over 200 since he was born!
Getting ready to start pre-induction medicine. Had to snap a before photo :) I was so impressed and amazed and blessed by how well Zach took care of me the whole time.

Zach showing me what he looks like in the recovery room

My first time holding him without the nurse's help. Amazed that the baby in my arms was inside my tummy just minutes before this.

Our first family photo, as we were leaving the hospital {day 3}

Bennett in his coming home outfit. Looks like a teeny tiny old man :)

Poor baby was not ready for the cold wind on his face! 

Bennett's first doctor's appointment, he did amazing! Was up 9 oz from the hospital, which made mama happy. He had lost 14 oz in two days while we were there, so I was pretty concerned he wasn't getting enough food. I felt much better after seeing he had gained some back. (ps this pediatrician was AMAZING. If you live in North San Diego County, he is in 4S ranch and I'd love to pass his info along)

 My side of the family: Zach, me, Mom, Cara (my sister), Papa, Dad, mr B.

Mima rocking him. She was the best at putting him to sleep!

My papa and Bennett! I'm so thankful he was able to come up and meet him when he was just 5 days old.

All wrapped up in the Rock n Play. That thing is AMAZING, infact that's where he is right now. Been asleep for three hours now in it!

This was Bennett at Target the other night. He was SO alert, looking all around as we walked through.

I could seriously watch him sleep for hours. He is so peaceful and precious. 

We had on matching jammies and I didn't even realize it til Zach pointed it out :)

I took this a few minutes ago, I washed his hair this morning and I love how fuzzy it is when it's fresh. Looks like a little chicky :) Also note the double swaddle (swaddleme first, then muslin). So far I'm loving it.

In the hospital we figured out Bennett really likes to suck.. here's my dad consoling him.

deep in thought ;-)

Auntie Cara :)

Passed out on Grandpa

I just had to have a picture of this the other night. I had just fed him, was burping him and the little guy just fell asleep all wrapped up in a ball. I think he wanted back in my tummy with how tiny he wrapped up!
My sweet friend Breanna came to visit last weekend and took some newborn photos for us. I've only seen a few but I'm already amazed by them. I looooove this picture of Bennett and me. I still just can't believe I'm a mama :)

Friday, January 4, 2013

Last Day as a Party of Two

Well, it's 11:30 pm and I'm feeling funny! This isn't how I pictured it nor what I had hoped for, but here's what's happened the last couple of days and why I'm ok with it.

Wednesday I went in for my weekly prenatal checkup and was devastated when I hadn't dilated at all. The midwife called the hospital to schedule an induction for this weekend, and literally sounded like she was scheduling a hair appointment. So nonchalant. I broke down in tears, not sure about induction, overwhelmed by the unintentional pressure from family to have him this week, wondering if I was doing the right thing for our baby. She told me to keep the appointment but to think about it until then, and if I decided I wanted to wait a little longer that would be totally fine, they'd just do a non stress test that day instead of induction. So I'm scheduled for tomorrow Saturday at 4pm.

I have been asking for prayer and praying non stop since then that I would go into labor on my own. I trust that God already knows every detail of my birth story and I trust in Him. I just needed some sort of reassurance to keep the Saturday appt or to hold off until going into labor naturally.

This afternoon I had a "post date" appointment for fluid level testing and monitoring. When the RN started the ultrasound, she couldn't find any water (amniotic fluid) at all, only after searching for it around my uterus did she find the bare minimum amount. While she was looking she mentioned I may not be going home and instead be induced right then if there was no water left for the baby. After she found the fluid, she hooked me up to the monitor and said if he was moving well then I'd be fine to head home, especially since I already had an induction scheduled for tomorrow. The baby was very active and had a few periods of excitement (they want to see his heart rate spike a few times while I'm there) so she sent me home.

Knowing he is healthy but also running out of amniotic fluid was exactly what I needed to reassure me to keep the induction for tomorrow. Bennett has had a nice long time in there & now it's time for him to come out. I know a lot of people don't agree with being induced, but this is what I feel is right for me & my baby this time.

At first I was disappointed I won't have the experience of timing contractions, getting to call family and say "it's time!", frantically loading the car and leaving. But overall, I'm so thankful. We do live an hour from the hospital and now I am not worried about whether or not we'll make it in time. I'm thankful to know we're getting him out in a healthy timeline and that I wasn't induced too early. And like I said before, God has known our story the entire time and its my job to trust Him and his timing.

Hopefully I get some good rest tonight & I look forward to introducing our little guy to you all, very soon!! I appreciate your prayers for a healthy baby & delivery :)