The Truth About Me

So lately I've been trying to get myself back in the blogging habit. I really miss it, writing is an amazing outlet and helps me to find my voice when I can't make sense of my thoughts. It's also brought forth some incredible friendships, which has been awesome.

I bought myself a pretty new blog design, I've made more of an effort to get posts up semi-frequently, and I've been trying to redo my "About Me" section. I need to redo all my pages at the top, because my life is not beauty-full or crafty anymore, but I want to focus on the About Me page. That's where I click first when I visit new blogs so I thought it needed an update.

The thing is, I can't quite figure out what to write. I've been a mom now for 11 months (tomorrow) and I'm finally coming out of a kind of newborn fog, turned busy summer, turned pouty fall because I felt so sorry for myself.

I'm finally feeling normal again but motherhood does something to you. It's very humbling but also eye-opening to reality. There is no hiding anything. It's the most real thing I've ever experienced.

In this very real time in my life, these are the things that come to mind when I try to think of what to write "about me":

• I usually forget to pay my credit card bill. It's a really (really) bad habit, and I have reminders set, see the emails, and still just forget. Luckily I don't put much money on it, otherwise it would get ugly fast. Anyways, I'm working on this. 
• I'm 25 years old and I still don't know what it's like to just be me. I envy people who are so comfortable in their own skin. I don't know if it stems from moving so much when I was growing up or just a lack of confidence, but I feel like I have to morph into someone else depending who I'm around. Be gentle and sweet around the meek type, be loud and funny around the boisterous type. I hate that. I'm seriously praying and working on it, and also on figuring out just who I am.
• I do not look cute very often. I'm a stay at home mom, and not one of the ones who wakes up before the baby, puts on new clothes, and a little bit of make up to freshen up. I wake up after my baby's been crying for long enough, brush my teeth with him in my arms, and usually wear the same ponytail and pajamas I slept in until 3 or 4 in the afternoon. You better warn me before you stop by because I probably haven't put a bra on yet.
• I don't think I'm a very good friend. I really love having close friendships, I thrive off that intimacy. I just don't feel like I'm good at being that friend! Love me through it..
• I like to be surrounded by people. I love when my house is full of friends, family, acquaintances, etc.
• My house is ALWAYS messy. I don't get it. I promise I do pick up and clean. It's just a mess all.the.time.
• I'm soooo hard on myself. Like, in all aspects of life. It's hard for me to admit or accept when I am actually doing well at something. A few months ago, I started using Young Living Essential Oils, and subsequently became a distributor. I am having serious financial success with these, yet each month I think, "I'm probably done. Anyone who would want some EOs has already bought them, so this is the month that it ends." Well thank you friends, because this has yet to happen. As hard as it is for me to say, I'm doing really well with this! And honestly, the best part is, these oils are dramatically helping people and their families with their health! *pat myself on the back*
• I have learned more about LOVE in the last 11 months than in my entire life. I understand when people say "Jesus can never love you any more or any less than he does. He just loves you." I get it now. I get why my parents did so much for us. You just do. You just love them.
• I usually have good intentions. With my words, with my actions, whatever. I have good intentions. My biggest frustration is when people assume I have bad/mean intentions. I don't. 
• I'm really good at talking about things. Talk about them all the ding dong day. Doing them? Not so much. :)

And there ya go. I'll wait awhile before re-writing my About Me section so as not to scare anyone away :) Also, I went and paid my credit card before publishing this post. Phew.