Do you ever wake up one morning and realize, "holy crap, I'm actually growing up" ?
Yeah, me either. More like while I was walking around the other day.
I was working alone and reminiscing about Christmas growing up full of cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, fires, hot tubs, and laughter. Both my parents come from huge families so there usually wasn't a quiet moment around the holidays. Both sides of my family are so so special to me but I always loved going to my dads parents house because all of us cousins are only a year apart.
Now, when I think back to holidays growing up I have little snippets of memories (my family has never been one for many pictures) but mostly it just makes me feel warm & fuzzy thinking about what an amazing family I have on both my mom & dads side; happy, healthy, supportive, and loud.
So anyways, back to my point. I was working alone the other day going through the memories in my head and all of a sudden it dawned on me that I literally will never be in those places again. Since my adolescence, one grandma has passed away, the other grandparents are snowbirds and won't come north for Christmas, and all of us older kids have pretty much scattered around the country.
What I realized is that Christmas will forever look different. I don't know when exactly all that happened, but never will I wake up in the loft to the smell of my grandma's breakfast (always including bacon!), surrounded by cousins. Never will we drive from California to Washington to spend Christmas morning with my mom's parents.
But, as I realized all this, I didn't feel sad. I felt so excited for the future and blessed to have sweet memories of the past. I can't wait til we have a bunch of kids to take to THEIR grandparents house, to sleep with their cousins. And until then, we will spend holidays alternating parents, who happen to live on opposite coasts, and enjoy the new meaning of Christmas as a married couple. Im so looking forward to making memories with my husband and his sweet family.
Here I sit on a plane headed East, missing my own family, and excited for learning about what Christmas has looked like for Zach while he grew up and getting to spend time with my wonderful in laws.
Merry Christmas, y'all :)